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A Few Things I’d Wish You’d Stop Doing At NBS

Don’t get me wrong: I have the most fun life there is.  Everyday I get to wake up, train, and hang out with people who are extraordinarily committed to their goals.  Along the way, I have the opportunity to make their efforts a bit easier.  That can mean a lot of things: some days I get to organize events, some days I just make sure the fine patrons of NBS Fitness have toilet paper.  While carrying out the day to day operations of the facility, there are some occurrences that I cannot figure out how to stop.  While they aren’t quite day-ruining events, they are certainly small annoyances that I wish I could find a way to stop.  I will be taking suggestions for punishments for the following offenses:


  1.  Loaded Bars/Weights Left out: This happens to every gym so often that its nearly a cliché.  While I certainly always knew that the fitness industry was an active gig, I’m always a little pissed when I am left cleaning up after grown adults.  Perhaps the worst occurrence was in our previous facility.  Someone had left a barbell loaded with 2 100lb plates in the squat rack.  However, complicating the matter was that whoever left this barbell must have been 7 foot tall, as it was loaded WAY over my head.   Suddenly, I found myself teetering on a padded bench, delicately balancing while pulling off plates that weighed more than 2/3 what I weigh. This was a struggle bus for me and could have easily been avoided by the giant human who committed this crime simply taking 10 seconds to strip down the barbell.
  2. Hulk Smashing the bathroom amenities: I came in this week and found, yet again, that someone had ripped the shower soap dispenser off the wall.  The soap dispenser is a fairly easy push button, so I am not really sure how this keeps happening.  I also find evidence nearly everyday that the ole double-roll toilet paper dispenser is a real stressful situation for people.  Some days there are bits of paper everywhere where people have tried to prematurely activate the second roll of toilet paper, some days the active toilet paper roll has been spun a trillion times to an unusable wad.
  3. Obnoxious use of chalk: Look, I like chalk. I think its a great training aid.  We have two chalk bowls and had several bricks of chalk ready so no one has to succumb to a training day without chalk.   But let me make a few things clear: you are not Gene Simmons.  If you are excessively using chalk for the sole purpose of creating a chalk cloud when you clap, you are a jerk.  The chalk all has to land, and after this little theatrical display, it has to get cleaned up.  Further, I see no reason in this world to take the chalk and color the entire bench pad white.  I’m not sure why that has happened, but I have seen it on multiple occasions.  Pro tip: if you use so much chalk that your entire head is white when you leave, you got out of hand.

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