The Great Questions of The Beard

As I have continued to grow a beard for the better part of two years I have realized that there are really only 4 questions or comments that I ever hear and are always from the same demographic.  Oddly enough it’s the grown men that have the most to say or ask.  The following are those four questions/comments in no specific order:


  1. Teenage boys- “dude awesome beard!”
  2. Women- “what does your wife think about your beard?”
  3. Adult male- “how long have you been growing that beard man?” to which there are always one of two responses after I answer their question
    1. A) “man I wish I could grow a beard like that” or
    2. B) “I tried to grow a beard once but my significant other vetoed it”
  4. Usually from other bearded ones- “what kind of product do you put in your beard?”
Garrett Smithson showing off the beard at the meet.
Garrett Smithson showing off the beard at the meet.  Thats pure intimidation.

In an attempt to save myself some time and effort I’m going to give my responses to all of these questions in my inaugural blog post.


  1. To the teenage boy- “as soon as your body lets you grow a beard, do it.” I stole and adapted this from one of my favorite characters Ron Swanson from the TV show Parks and Recreation.
  2. To the ladies- “I grow this beard for my wife, she requested it; and that’s pretty awesome”
  3. To the Bros- “I’ve been growing a beard as long as I have been allowed to”
    1. A) to the man that wants to grow a beard like mine- “figure out why your body is too weak to grow a beard and fix it”- except for one bodybuilder at NBS, I won’t call anyone out, but I’m positive he’s stronger than me, he just wasn’t lucky enough to have Eastern European roots.
    2. B) to the individual that has external strife- “then that’s not the significant other that you want to be attached to, you need to assess where you are in life”
  4. To the fellow bearded ones- “I personally use beard oil to keep my beard from looking like the predator- sans mask- I highly recommend that you find a good one that keeps your significant other happy- and yes some oils do work better than others”


There you have it, my answers to the great questions of the beard.  Stay tuned for my next blog post and my first Article post coming soon!  Also feel free to use these answers as people continue to ask you these same exact questions every time.

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